Shards of Her Broken World
by Exploding Your Universe
Summary: With too many pieces cut out, she knows it will be a long time before Home is whole again. - Lenalee-centric, chapter 205 manga spoilers


**Shards of Her Broken World  
><strong>A _D. Gray-man_ Fanfiction  
>By Exploding Your Universe<p>

**AN:** Lenalee's not my favorite character, I admit, but damn... Think of her predicament. The beginning is not manga-accurate. Drabble-ish. Strange things come from late-night writings.

* * *

><p>What happened?<p>

They crossed with the Noahs, and during the cross-fire their new allies began to mutate into akuma. She remembered the confusion, calling for her teammates, calling her distant teammates who encountered Noahs as well. What? Kanda's Finder group was found dead? Where was Kanda, was he alright? _We'll contact you as soon as we find out_.

Allen. Allen must know what's going on, he went to Jordan as well. Allen's missing too? Where...?

Confusion is overrun by panic. The American Base is being attacked directly by the Earl! What are they to do? What are their orders of action! How are they to get to America without the Ark nearby? She worries, and it makes her chest ache; the scientists from her Home were to be in America for research. Johnny and Reever, and even Bak's, lifeless faces tugged at her mind.

The rushed chatter over the golems is jumbled, a mess, and it's hard to pick out the news thats most important to her. She heard Lavi's name, and she called attention to it; what about Lavi? _Both he and Bookman are gone, I didn't even hear them leave the area! But Chaoji - I don't know, but he needs help!_

The Noahs have retreated when the simple message that Kanda awakened the Fourteenth. There's nothing for a while. There's nothing _to_ do except treat their wounds. The Generals are talking through the golems, wanting to join together in the Ark before heading to America but Komui tells them otherwise. His voice makes being on the battlefield less painful. She asks him to give status updates, hoping he won't hear the tremor in her voice. She feels like crying. America's base is silent, no communication is receiving or sending.

Finally, after what seems like hours, the reports are as followed: The Earl and the other Noah retreated after almost no fight, Kanda and Alma (_Alma? Who's Alma? Will anyone explain to me who Alma is?_) has gone through an unnumbered Gate severely wounded without his Innocence, and Allen is to be confined. He is a threat to the Exorcist Order. The Noah inside has threaten to be released.

The battlefield parties travel to the Gates nearest to them, and when they arrive Home, there's an heavy cloud that hangs over everyone. She wishes for Lavi's jokes, Kanda's unconcerned attitude, or even Allen's reassuring smile. That's when she knows everything's going to be okay. The Head Nurse hovers like a mother hen when she just wants to be left alone to cry.

A few days later and she's able to leave the Medical Wing. She wants to see Allen, but all visitations are prohibited. The most she can do is ask through Link how he is, but his answers are never what she wants to hear. _With-holding, still. Not eating, stupid brat._ She stays usually in the science department, Johnny and Reever's company making the edge slip away slightly. Komui is occupying the office as of late, in meetings with Leverrier and more of Central or of the Council. She wants his company, too, but she's not top priority at the moment.

Her Home feels off-balanced and Incomplete. The most important pieces have been taken away or rearranged to make a jumbled picture that makes no sense. _What is that for? Why are they doing this? When will everything be normal again?_ She sneaks into Kanda's room at night to feel for his meditative presence. Lavi's room during the morning to read some of which random he's written in margins during Bookman lessons; a lot of it makes her giggle. Allen's room is off-limits.

Krory, Miranda, and Marie are all good comforters, but they don't touch what needs to be held tenderly with what she knows most from her boys. Her boys. Her friends. Her family. They're her brothers. Her brothers aren't there.

Lavi and Bookman are still lost, and Kanda's Innocence has become rusted beyond repair; incompatible. It means he's dead, they say, but she won't listen truly. She helps Jerry and the rest of the kitchen make Allen something special tonight to eat after gorging on dinner with the remainder of her friends. She feels a bit more uplifted when that man said Allen wouldn't be executed.

Tremors shake Headquarters.

_We are now a state of emergency. A Noah has been discovered within the HQ. It is currently running toward the East beach with Allen Walker._ The Pope was to give an imperial order to everyone. Did that mean... She held her breath, anxious.

_As of now, we will be freezing Allen Walker's rights as an Exorcist. From here on, he shall be classified as a Noah._

She left without another word, the Crystal Innocence responding to her core emotions and allowing her to fly faster. Allen, no...

_"ALLEN!"_

Ignore the explosion, the shouts of confusion and horror. A glow just appears not far up ahead, white. A Gate. She presses forward, trying to reach there in time.

Allen's in the doorway, his arm feathery, and she's too out of breath to say anything, but he notices her and turns and says her name like it's a surprise to see her. She feels like crying again.

_"Where are you going? You'll get in trouble, using the Gate like that..."_

All he does is smile and say, _"Yeah. I know."_ And the way he smiles, she hasn't seen that smile in over a year. The smile that says 'I'll try to fix the world myself'. She hates it and knows what's up.

_"IF YOU LEAVE, YOU AND ME WILL HAVE TO FIGHT EACH OTHER!"_

And he takes it like a joke. _"Yeah. I know. It's okay, you can kick me as hard as you like."_ She suddenly realises he's trying to be funny and she misses Lavi all over again.

_"THIS ISN'T SOMETHING YOU CAN JOKE AROUND ABOUT!"_

_"Lenalee."_ Allen takes her by surprise and hugs her around the shoulders with his good arm. _"No matter what happens, I'll always be an Exorcist. Even though the paths we follow are different, that will never change."_

After all this time, she finally cries. She sinks to her knees and Allen follows with her but he's beginning to move away now.

_"I love you, and everybody else at the Order. My _true_ home. Forever and ever."_

Amen.

_"ALLEN!"_

The Gate dissolves and he's gone, and her world cracks just a little more.


End file.
